If I were a swan, I'd be gone.
If I were a train, I'd be late.
And if I were a good man, I'd talk with you more often than I do.
If I were asleep, I could dream.
If I were afraid, I could hide.
If I go insane, please don't put your wires in my brain.
If I were the moon, I'd be cool.
If I were a rule, I would bend.
If I were a good man, I'd understand the spaces between friends.
If I were alone, I would cry.
And if I were with you, I'd be home and dry.
And if I go insane, will you still let me join in with the game?
If I were a swan, I'd be gone.
If I were a train, I'd be late again.
If I were a good man, I'd talk to you more often than I do.
(Pink Floyd: "If")
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The first few hours of neo-Zanzi's experience within the game world of Neverwinter Nights have been a baptism of fire for this newly created consciousness. As the Game Player contributes approximately half of neo-Zanzi's thoughts, Zanzi's physical and emotional experiences when gang raped are processed very differently by the two distinct consciousnesses within this Player Character. Whereas Zanzi prime is very philosophical and accepts the rape almost as an occupational hazard, neo-Zanzi copes poorly with the experience, preferring instead to pretend it had never happened and that somehow Zanzi has imagined it in a spell-induced dream or something. And so when the neo-Zanzi consciousness breaks down to release the human male consciousness back fully to the "real world" Game Player (the instant Zanzi uses the Stone of Recall to teleport herself out of the psionic energy field within the prison to the Hall of Justice), the Game Player, after a moment or two of dizziness, begins to feel intense spasms of the residual emotional trauma. He does not know how to react to this and cannot recognise the emotions generated within his mind as his own. He is confused, in denial still and feels a sense of vulnerability to and hatred for members of his own sex to an extent never previously comprehended. Integrate into this emotional weave the extremely proximal and prolonged Shar revelation, and the Game Player, however temporarily, has completely lost his mind.
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Sensory input is processed differently by Zanzi's brain constructs depending on how indigenous the experienced object is in relation to the material plane. All sights, sounds, smells, etc. produced by objects native to the material plane will be processed using polynomial functions that have zeros which, if these functions are graphed, will have at least one intersection point on the x-axis and will consequently have zeros with real number components. Sensory input from objects that are not native to the material plane, such as the Goddess Shar, will be processed using polynomial functions some of which will and others will not have zeros that have intersection points on the x-axis, and therefore those functions that do not have x-intersection-point zeros will have imaginary zero components. (The conjugate zeros theorem states that if the polynomial function has all real coefficients then its imaginary zeros will be in conjugate pairs. Another theorem relating to zeros of polynomial functions states that if a polynomial is of degree n then it has n zeros, counting multiplicity). Such sensory input processed by polynomial functions that result in imaginary zeros - especially where the limit, as the domain approaches infinity, of the function is a value that produces the imaginary zeros - is not designed to be experienced by anything other an id originating within the game world, and so Zanzi's latest prolonged and, more pertinently, extremely intimate experience of Shar is the primary reason for the Game Player's current loss of sanity following dissolution of the neo-Zanzi consciousness. Note that the remainder theorem [for p(x) = (x - a)q(x)+r(x) when x = a, then p(a) = r(a)], and the factor theorem [f(x) has a factor (x - k) if and only if f(k)=0] are relevant here.
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